Искам да споделя с вас едно от най-интересните неща, които научих от Линда Стюарт. Следва част от една дискусия от НДЕ мейлинг листа (nde@yahoogroups.com). Едно момиче “trin tan” се появи и написа следното:
One of the major reasons I joined this group is to find other people who’s in the ‘same spiritual journey’ as I am… Since my experience (am not even sure If what I had was an NDE), I have felt ‘alone’, in the sense that none of the people in my circle of friends can totally relate to me. I’m only 22, and I went thru highschool and college feeling ‘different’. And everyone tells me, “You’re so different, but in a good way… we wish to be like you! Etc.” Sometimes it’s good to hear… but other times (like now) I feel sad and ‘alone’. When all my friends are getting drunk (sometimes even high), I don’t join them coz I know it’s foolish, and I don’t feel the need to engage myself in those stuff, but then, again, I end up being alone. My boyfriend (who was also my bestfriend) recently broke up with me, “I just can’t keep up with you, and join you in the things that you do… I’ve tried my best, but I just can’t connect with you anymore…” So, it’s sad L
I pray that I find my place in this world… I’m young and I should be having fun, but there’s this voice that calls me to do meaningful work… there’s this force that tugs at my heart, telling me that I shouldn’t waste time, that I’m here for a purpose far GREATER than myself… I’m happy to be ‘ahead of my time’ as they say… I’ve always felt like I’m 5 years old going on 50… But it’s sad to miss out on the stuff my peers are into, and to be regarded as ‘different’ all the time (although people have always meant well when they say I’m different)HELP! Thanks and take care everyone
Аз отвърнах със:
Hi Trin,
as I read your email, I felt that part of me thinks also like you.
When I go to parties and see boys and girls drinking, smoking and I
think why should be it that way. When I listen to lyrics of the music,
sometimes there are so provoking, bad, and so many people listen to
this stuff and like it, and then sing it and subconsciously I think
that they also believe what they sing. Of course I like dancing, but
when I dance and hear some stupid lyrics, my wish to dance on such
music just disappears … And what I sorry is that very good friends
of mine do that, I like them very much, but I can’t just tell them you
are wrong, this is not right, maybe because they will say, “Oh, come
on, that’s nothing” or something like that. And sometimes maybe they
are right, because I see that they are really happy from going to
discos, but also there is the other view point. I don’t how to deal
with such situations and sometimes I leave myself to the flow, maybe
because I don’t like separation of people, maybe because also in not
so good places there is a need of good people, I don’t know why. But I
hope that one day it will become clearer to me. I think that everyone
of us will understand that sooner or later, some people understand it
at early age, other when they are older. And I don’t want to break my
friendships, because I believe that all of them are good people
inside, and one day or another they will understand what I felt/meant.Be good :)
Линда в нейния стил отвърна със:
Hi Trin,
as I read your email, I felt that part of me thinks also like you.
When I go to parties and see boys and girls drinking, smoking and I
think why should be it that way. When I listen to lyrics of the music,
sometimes there are so provoking, bad, and so many people listen to
this stuff and like it, and then sing it and subconsciously I think
that they also believe what they sing.Dear Nikolay,
I also believe that we become (to a degree) what we put into our minds.
Most people are simply not conscious enough to filter and repetition becomes
habit expressed.NIKOLAY: Of course I like dancing, but
when I dance and hear some stupid lyrics, my wish to dance on such
music just disappears … And what I sorry is that very good friends
of mine do that, I like them very much, but I can’t just tell them you
are wrong, this is not right, maybe because they will say, “Oh, come
on, that’s nothing” or something like that. And sometimes maybe they
are right, because I see that they are really happy from going to
discos, but also there is the other view point.LINDA: Another reason not to tell other people that something is not right
is because you are trying to tell them what *you* think is not right for
*them*….and, frankly, you don’t know that. You can only choose what is
right or wrong for you.NIKOLAY: I don’t how to deal with such situations and sometimes I leave
myself to the flow, maybe
because I don’t like separation of people, maybe because also in not
so good places there is a need of good people, I don’t know why.LINDA: If you think you are a good person amongst people doing “bad”
things, you are judging them. Perhaps the starting place would be just to
accept people where they are at. After all, Jesus was criticized for dining
with…”those” kind of people . But he dined with them without
judgment.NIKOLAY: But I hope that one day it will become clearer to me. I think that
everyone
of us will understand that sooner or later, some people understand it
at early age, other when they are older. And I don’t want to break my
friendships, because I believe that all of them are good people
inside, and one day or another they will understand what I felt/meant.LINDA: And, perhaps one day you will understand them, too. If we go around
feeling that “no one understands us” - that’s a pretty egocentric way to
feel. Isn’t it far more important to be accepting of other people than
wanting them to accept us?
With love,
Linda
Аз отговарям:
> NIKOLAY: I don’t how to deal with such situations and sometimes I leave
> myself to the flow, maybe
> because I don’t like separation of people, maybe because also in not
> so good places there is a need of good people, I don’t know why.
>
> LINDA: If you think you are a good person amongst people doing “bad”
> things, you are judging them. Perhaps the starting place would be just to
> accept people where they are at. After all, Jesus was criticized for dining
> with…”those” kind of people . But he dined with them without
> judgment.Hm, you are right about the judging. Normally I don’t think so, but
there are also situations in which I think that I do it. For example
if someone do something bad to someone else, I don’t like it, and I
think “How could he do this? Don’t he see that …”. In such
situations I think that I judge people by thinking of them as “bad”
people. Or for example, I don’t like when some boys start dirty
talking about some girls they see. In such a case, what can I do?
Either I don’t say anything or I tell them that it is not good to
think that way or that I’m not interested in that. What do you thing
that judgment and acceptance means in such a case?> NIKOLAY: But I hope that one day it will become clearer to me. I think that
> everyone
> of us will understand that sooner or later, some people understand it
> at early age, other when they are older. And I don’t want to break my
> friendships, because I believe that all of them are good people
> inside, and one day or another they will understand what I felt/meant.
>
> LINDA: And, perhaps one day you will understand them, too. If we go around
> feeling that “no one understands us” - that’s a pretty egocentric way to
> feel. Isn’t it far more important to be accepting of other people than
> wanting them to accept us?
> With love,
> LindaYes, I agree, if everyone think like “no one understand me”, then
nobody would understand anybody. I still wonder what do you mean by
accepting other people. For example I think so, everybody has
weaknesses and strengths, and if I see someone with many weaknesses I
would try to thing like, okay he/she has weaknesses but there must be
also something good in him/her. It does not happen for me every time,
but I feel that it happens more often now :).Hugs,
Nikolay
Линда:
> NIKOLAY: I don’t how to deal with such situations and sometimes I leave
> myself to the flow, maybe
> because I don’t like separation of people, maybe because also in not
> so good places there is a need of good people, I don’t know why.
>
> LINDA: If you think you are a good person amongst people doing “bad”
> things, you are judging them. Perhaps the starting place would be just to
> accept people where they are at. After all, Jesus was criticized for dining
> with…”those” kind of people . But he dined with them without
> judgment.Hm, you are right about the judging. Normally I don’t think so, but
there are also situations in which I think that I do it. For example
if someone do something bad to someone else, I don’t like it, and I
think “How could he do this? Don’t he see that …”. In such
situations I think that I judge people by thinking of them as “bad”
people.Dear Nickolay,
Yes, that would be a judgment.NICKOLAY: Or for example, I don’t like when some boys start dirty
talking about some girls they see. In such a case, what can I do?LINDA: Obviously, you are not going to tell the person that they are doing something “wrong”. Well, obviously for me, I wouldn’t. If I see something like that, I remind myself that no one acts like that unless they are already unhappy or insecure. What I need to do is to extend unconditional love to the person who is “talking dirty”. That doesn’t mean that you have to reinforce or support what they say. Just remember that all acts are either acts of love or calls for love. Boys/men who talk like that are “posturing”, trying to impress others. This means they are insecure.
NICKOLAY: Either I don’t say anything or I tell them that it is not good to
think that way or that I’m not interested in that. What do you thing
that judgment and acceptance means in such a case?LINDA: Unless they ask my opinion, I wouldn’t say anything.
